Psychological harm or suffering, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivations of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life are all acts of violence.

It’s a blight on society, and the Bellingen Shire is not immune.

Research by the Australian Institute of Criminology reveal some startling realities: During the last 12 months, on average, one woman is killed every week as a result of intimate partner violence.

A woman is most likely to be killed by her male partner in her home.

Domestic and family violence is the principle cause of homelessness for women and their children.

Intimate partner violence is the leading contributor to death, disability and ill-health in Australian women aged 15-44.

One in three women have experienced physical and/or sexual violence perpetrated by someone known to them.

One in four children are exposed to domestic violence, which is a recognised form of child abuse.

One in five women experience harassment within the workplace.

One in five women over 18 has been stalked during her lifetime.

The cost of violence against women to the Australian economy is estimated to rise to $15.6 billion per annum.

Moreover, the perpetuation of behaviour is well-known by sociologists and criminologists.

There’s increased risk of mental health, behavioural and learning difficulties from childhood exposure to intimate partner violence.

Children exposed to violence in the home are at an increased risk of going on to commit or experience violence.

However, despite the “epidemic of violence against women” research also shows there is hope. Social policy initiatives that build equality and respect between men and women are central to reducing violence against women.

Shire men, stand up, be counted.

I believe that education is the key to combating domestic violence. I don't make that comment just because my background is in education.

I also don't believe that we cure things by throwing in a compulsory study module on domestic violence in our schools. We need to model our behaviour in schools and society.  We need to teach by example that there are no acceptable forms of abuse- both verbal and physical and there are also no mitigating circumstances like “loss of job, too much to drink, being provoked or I've just had enough”.

 If our children can see us living those values that we teach in our schools then that is the long term path. In the short term if abuse is the choice of the individual then the consequence needs to be known, rapid and followed through. Our police do a wonderful job and I believe our legal system needs to build on their efforts to make the consequences real for offenders and give us back the family values.

Whilst I feel very fortunate to have not experienced or witnessed domestic violence first hand, I know that the same is not true for quite a few others.

Whether the violence is physical or psychological, or whether you are the direct victim or part of the broader family network, the impact is devastating, long term and can lead to other forms of violence being perpetuated in society. It’s high time that this form of insidious abuse and harm is now receiving the media and attention from authorities that it deserves. It needs to be exposed for what it is, removed from the protection often afforded to it by occurring within the privacy of the family environment and victims need to be offered the full protection of the law and associated support services and agencies and perpetrators held accountable for their actions.

As a principal I am increasingly concerned that I see children who may have witness adult domestic violence and become victims of that abuse themselves.

Loss of enthusiasm, noncompliance, depression and self-harming behaviours may be a distressing result.  

My personal commitment is to be a member of our community who says, no domestic violence is ever acceptable and to work with our men and boys to stop the violence.

Over my working life I have seen the results of domestic violence. As a police office, owning my own businesses, administrator on remote Indigenous communities in Central Australia to the manager’s position at the Bellingen Neighbourhood Centre I have seen the outcome of domestic violence and been involved in meditation in an attempt to resolve the conflict.

The physical and mental anguish suffered by the women involved, the torment on the faces of the children who witness the violence.

The suffering caused has wide ranging effects not only on those immediately involved in the conflict but the friends, neighbours and wider community.

I call on all members of the community to speak out against domestic violence.

It concerns me greatly that every day we hear of cases of domestic violence.  No doubt there are many other cases that we do not hear about.  At a recent gathering of eight friends I bought up the topic and to my surprise two people one male, one female said that they had suffered domestic violence and described the effects that this had had on their lives.  That domestic violence was so common was a surprise and a worry.

I do not know what the perpetrator gets out of domestic violence but I suggest that there is plenty of help available for the victims as well as the offender.  As a community I urge you to strongly promote and support the “no domestic violence” message.

One in five women in Australia and one in twenty men have experienced violence at the hands of a partner. But everyone is affected. Friendships and families are left reeling with fear, instability and worry.

Victims are wounded – physically broken – and emotionally crushed. Self-confidence and self-esteem vanish. The violent partner is also in dire straits. When this problem is hidden away it is also hidden from help and isolated from support.

There are many issues to address in these troubled relationships and suffering families. It can be difficult for those caught up in the problem to know where to begin to address it. Yet, the longer it remains undisclosed the more damage it causes to all concerned. For those conflicted by the need for help and the retreat into secrecy there is a way to move forward. Within any community the family doctor is well-placed to respond to the crisis of domestic violence.

The privacy of the consultation room offers sanctuary and security to locate the much-needed safety, resources, support and therapy. Victims and their families and friends can begin to work through the problem from the first contact with their own GP or another GP in the community. For those whose behaviour is violent or threatening and abusive there is also the family doctor. No situation is beyond help and no person need fear the help they need. The privacy of the consultation room is theirs as well.

It is estimated that about half of the men and about a quarter of the women who have experienced domestic violence from a partner have never told anyone about it. There is someone you can tell – and not just for sympathy. These problems need constructive action one step at a time. There is a way to make progress and your family doctor will work with you to begin to unravel it. 

Domestic violence impacts us all; our whole community, and so often our youth. Those that are usually vulnerable and cannot protect themselves and the impacts are far-reaching and long-lasting.

We all need to get involved - enough is enough. As a community we need to make sure these people do not stand alone.

At what point will we say as Australian community members “enough is enough” and tackle the sickening scourge that has claimed 64 lives this year and condemns countless other women and children to lives of constant terror and horrific abuse. The statistics are enough to cause despair but this is likely to be the tip of the iceberg with so many women and children fearful of speaking out.

Dame Quentin Bryce summed up the tragic situation recently when she said: “The figures are so grave, and the very deep concern for all of us, I think is the fact that after a generation of providing services since we started to talk about domestic violence – to bring it out from under the carpet about 40 years ago in our country – it’s getting worse.” Dame Quentin’s claim is supported by police statistics which show a marked increase in domestic violence related crime.

Domestic violence is everybody’s business we can no longer shy away from the gruesome facts, every one of the abused and murdered women and children, had neighbours, families, friends, work colleagues, connections to teachers, doctors and other community activities and yet they still had their lives taken by an abuser. This is not just an issue for government, this is an issue for the extended family, neighbours and friends and communities. We should no longer turn away but commit to working towards a day when there will be no need for White Ribbon Day.

As a retired solicitor with over 35 years experience working in the Criminal Courts and in Family Law I observed the devastating effect domestic violence can have on families, and in particular the children of those families.

The lessons observed in those violent family situations were often passed from one generation to the next. Domestic violence needs to be talked about openly within our community, and our community needs to say “no more”.